Now every time I sigh, I exhale with sound while a large burst of energy in form of thoughts run through my mind. I think, hey what would he say about that movie i just watched, or that I want to eat some sushi, or maybe those snacks he had in Germany.
We were never in confidants of each other, at least not since the small faith group. But I knew how he talk, some habits he had, the friends he made. I guess he was just distinct. So I’ll always wonder, now that there’s no chance of ever being in conversation in this lifetime. Wondering what response he would give, what he really felt about what kind of friends we were.
For me, I’d tell him, you are one of a kind a funny guy. Typical of some though with the slight ocd and weakness I thought I saw. But very much brave in the little things you did. I would have very much wanted to see how you would have grown, maybe never been close but get to talk to others about you and pretend I really knew you. I would have very much liked to be that friend. Better than the sudden loss of anything growing.
I don’t know if you are really “in a better place”, but I’m sure you have a special place up there for being the faithful you. Because I know I pale in comparison and yet I am sure I would be saved too. But for now the memories seem so fresh in each picture of you that it’s like you never left. Every time they mention you it’s like you are still out there just never in my radius.
Time would make most memories fade, and you might too.
There will always be reminders though, but those might lose significance in time too.
By that time, I hope many would be in your company so it doesn’t matter.
Cheers man. Peace be with you.