Yesterday life was picking up. I was being totally into the moment that I could survive with the sticking. That I was so brave not knowing anyone. That I was just okay here.
Today, its down the roller coaster to the deepest dumps and finding that I’m just a sad sorry bit of shit. Of course I am not affected by what he said. But I know deep down inside its the longing for adventure yet the lazy child inside that is fearful. Just go out there now I tell her. But she tries to find the mental obstacles that could only make control more difficult.
Sometimes I wonder why. The thoughts that run in my head, they never come to fruit. And I know why, but I hate to believe.