My heart cannot take it anymore. The more evidence of how my house is crumbling at her hands is just too much for me to bear. I detest her so much I can never refer to her as ‘you’ in my writing and not ever when I speak.
I’ve been looking at studio apartments and I have all sorts of ideas of leaving this house where I do not feel like a home when this being trots around and I have to stand a sight of such. It could have just been she is not as good as her predecessor. But its more than that and if I had the good authority to, I would have given marching orders right from the day two of the start of my misery.
The worst evidence its that heart pumping, moment heating moving of my things. I absolutely cannot stand when a person whom I detest with almost all my heart moves my things. I know where they are and I want them there. And by moving my things away I just want to kick down the door and choke slam her to death. I do not know why such hatred lies in my heart and it scares me to death of what I might do. But I know my heart is too timid to ever cross any boundary I was not meant to. If I ever get the ‘courage’ to do so, I deserve to be locked up eternally because I would have reached my breaking point. With a sadistic brain you certainly do not wish for my insanity.
For now, pianoguys and their instrumentals gives me new hope.