So like my last entry was kinda still applicable. I’ve checked and i think its panic attacks i am suffering from. More specially I think some ridiculous social anxiety disorder. Its inexplicable how I know that and how I can diagnose my clinical mental health but I guess I just know myself best. “The voices in my head.” – from all the shows that had mental disorders, it is reaching validity from experience; the experience that has to be sealed in my thunderous heart.

I keep rationalising why I do seem to want G. I don’t know anymore. And as the talking starts and the stirrings are not right anymore. Was I so wrong about it?
Is it supposed to feel the same when face to face and not. Because I have strongly differed tastes left after.


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